Dear Urban Abbey Members, a few days ago my mediation book, God Calling, had the following meditation.
"Taste and See"
"O taste and see that the Lord is good"
Psalm 34:8
"He is good. Trust in Him. Know that all is well. Say 'God is good. God is good.' Just leave in His Hands the present and the future, knowing only that he is good. He can bring order out of chaos, good out of evil, peace out of turmoil. God is good.
I and My father are One. One in desire to do good. For God to do good to His children is for Him to share His goodness with them. God is good, anxious to share His goodness, and good things with you, and He will do this. Trust and be not afraid."
I love that song, and even more since we discerned that God calls us at St. George's to feed his people. But to be honest, I don't always feel God's goodness in the turmoil as I look around? I see friends on the pathway for a divorce. Other's fighting for their life against cancer. Others struggling financially. And that doesn't include all the global issues that upset me like corporate greed that is destroying our environment and our political values. The unjust wars, the devastation from manmade and natural disasters in countries with far fewer resources than our own. I do cry out in my soul, "where is the goodness that you promised? Where is the order in the chaos?" And you know, I don't get a flash of instant answer or I am not overwhelmed by peace.
This particular meditation has been on my mind for several days, and I knew I wanted to write about it because I love the image the song writer captured for us so beautifully, "taste and see God's goodness". But as I have been sitting with this piece, I realized I was missing a major point of this meditation. If it is my heart's deepest desire to experience the goodness, I have to trust. I have to leave all these worries and prayers in his hands. It is one thing to say that, another to do it. I mean really leave the present and the future in his hands, "knowing only that he is good". That means I have to leave my ego behind. I have to give up my false sense of control on my world. I have to step out without seeing and tasting and act as if goodness "is". I even have to give up the picture in my head of what I think goodness looks like. That is a practice I have not mastered yet. But if I can do that, truly trust and give up control, I start to "taste and see." Sometimes I taste and see in tiny ways like hearing my daughter read the book "The Runaway Tortilla" and appreciating the fact she can read and goes to a great school and has a phenomenal amount of resources to help her learn and grow. Like literally walking by my fruit bowl and initially smelling and then devouring wonderful candy sweet white peaches. Like being a part of the Urban Abbey where I know others love and care for me. Sometimes I see God's goodness in big things like one day several months ago when I didn't know how we were going to pay our next mortgage and in desperation I asked God "for a break". Two days later a package with an offer to refinance arrived on our doorstep from our mortgage company. God is good.
I can't make the bad go away for my friends and the world, but I can hold up and name God's goodness if I am open enough to taste and see it. Maybe that is a gift we can all do for each other. Where do you taste and see God's goodness? I would love to see a running blog of God goodness in the world. Take a moment and hit the reply button and write where you "taste and see" God's goodness. I think it will help all of us grow in trust.
Gratefully,
Angela
P.S. By the way, the Leadership Council has been sharing with you things that have touched us in our own spiritual journeys, but our hope is everyone in the Abbey will feel free to offer stories and learnings from your journey. We can all grow from sharing. Feel free to post as you desire.
[posted by George for Angela]
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
People First, Things Later
Today, as I was reading Brother Jerome's reflection on the portion of the Rule of Benedict (of which I have commented other times), and worrying about two contractors arriving today to work in my house and yard, and the many things of being a homeowner, I was struck by the following:
What a great reminder: It is not the checkbooks, mortgages, contractors, dirt and all the related hustle and bustle, but the people living in our house, the people we work with, the people we meet today, that are important. As I finished breakfast I gave thanks to our Lord for the new day, and for all the people I hold dear.
What regular habits of reading and meditation have you found to remind you of what is really important? How have these helped you today?
Seton
(In case you are interested I am attaching the mailing from Brother Jerome here)
Brother Jerome Leo's posting for September 15th
January 15, May 16, September 15
Chapter 2: What Kind of Person the Abbess Ought to Be
Above all let her not neglect or undervalue
the welfare of the souls committed to her,
in a greater concern for fleeting, earthly, perishable things;
but let her always bear in mind
that she has undertaken the government of souls
and that she will have to give an account of them.
And if she be tempted to allege a lack of earthly means,
let her remember what is written:
"First seek the kingdom of God and His justice,
and all these things shall be given you besides" (Ps. 33:10).
And again:
"Nothing is wanting to those who fear Him."
Let her know, then,
that she who has undertaken the government of souls
must prepare herself to render an account of them.
Whatever number of sisters she knows she has under her care,
she may be sure beyond doubt that on Judgment Day
she will have to give the Lord an account of all these souls,
as well as of her own soul.
Thus the constant apprehension
about her coming examination as shepherd (Ezech. 34)
concerning the sheep entrusted to her,
and her anxiety over the account that must be given for others,
make her careful of her own record.
And while by her admonitions she is helping others to amend,
she herself is cleansed of her faults.
REFLECTION
There are two beautiful lessons for us non-abbatial types in this
chapter. The first is a Benedictine view of material goods and the
second consoles us that teaching will hopefully also teach the
teacher!
The Benedictine view of property is neither complete nor correct
without the principle invoked here. Yes, later on we hear that all
the goods of the monastery must be regarded as if they were sacred
vessels of the altar (and that includes our planet, folks!) We also
hear a lot of attentive prescriptions about poverty and ownership.
Either of these made dogma without the third principle will spell
trouble. That third principle, enunciated here, is "people first,
things later; don't sweat the small stuff and things are ALWAYS small
stuff by comparison to souls."
This adds a perfect balance to Benedictine theology of creation. Ours
is the organic permaculture of souls and bodies and the planet which
nourishes both. I would be the first to sadly admit that, both
corporately and individually, we have a LONG way to go before
realizing this perfect theology, even partially.
Nevertheless, it is there and it is our ideal. The Reign of God is of
necessity our only imperative for preserving all we can. We do so
because all things were created to further and serve that Divine
purpose: the salvation of all, willed by God and the towering human
dignity of each which is won by the creative act of God and the
saving act of Jesus' death for all.
Ecology stripped of true Christian personalism is as hopelessly
pathetic as a rampant materialism that sees every created thing only
in terms of exploitation for profit. It often piques me to see news
stories of people rushing to the beach in crowds to save beached
whales, when many of those so touched seem not to care at all
about the homeless who die on our streets every day. I'm no enemy of
whales, but caring for humans must come first. It is not an either/or
question, it must be the Zen mind of both.
One is not complete without the other. Loving life and living things
really is a seamless garment. Nothing less than the whole will do! We
care for and nurture things because they care for and nurture an intricate
web of which we are the prominent part. Caring for human life and
trashing the environment is a mistaken joke. But so is caring for the
environment while figuring human beings are pretty much on their own!
We must never support the lie that humanity is free to waste and
plunder, but we must never forget, either, that humanity, warts and
all, is undeniably the crown and apex and zenith of the Reign of God.
The feeling, loving heart of a right-minded ecology can only be found
in a right-minded love of humanity. Every divorce of these two is
perilous.
A good Benedictine will go to careful lengths to avoid damaging or
breaking things, but will treat it lightly if someone else
does by accident: "Oh, that's no big deal. I'll tend to it later."
or "This I can replace, YOU I cannot. Don`t worry about it." See what
I mean? We must be personally very careful of things, but we must
never make others feel small, and least of all in the name of
temporal goods.
The other gem buried here is learning from teaching. Anyone who has
ever taught 5th grade science will tell you that it will teach you
more than the average person at a party knows about the topic.
(Unless the party is given at Massachusetts Institute of Technology!)
It will remind you of a great deal of basic information that you have
long forgotten. Teaching, ideally, keeps one up to date on a subject.
If teaching alone doesn't do that, the questions of the students
usually will!
Teaching, however, is nothing more than a lofty form of doing right.
Doing right by the created world around us will teach us in ways we
never dreamed possible. Hopefully, it will be the same with any of us
who are helping others on the road to spiritual growth. We will learn
by teaching, by doing, by helping. Hopefully, we will also be taught-
and maybe sometimes shamed- by our own words and deeds!
Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB
jeromeleo@stmarysmonastery.org
http://www.stmarysmonastery.
Petersham, MA
"That third principle, enunciated here, is 'people first, things later; don't sweat the small stuff and things are ALWAYS small stuff by comparison to souls.'"
What a great reminder: It is not the checkbooks, mortgages, contractors, dirt and all the related hustle and bustle, but the people living in our house, the people we work with, the people we meet today, that are important. As I finished breakfast I gave thanks to our Lord for the new day, and for all the people I hold dear.
What regular habits of reading and meditation have you found to remind you of what is really important? How have these helped you today?
Seton
(In case you are interested I am attaching the mailing from Brother Jerome here)
Brother Jerome Leo's posting for September 15th
January 15, May 16, September 15
Chapter 2: What Kind of Person the Abbess Ought to Be
Above all let her not neglect or undervalue
the welfare of the souls committed to her,
in a greater concern for fleeting, earthly, perishable things;
but let her always bear in mind
that she has undertaken the government of souls
and that she will have to give an account of them.
And if she be tempted to allege a lack of earthly means,
let her remember what is written:
"First seek the kingdom of God and His justice,
and all these things shall be given you besides" (Ps. 33:10).
And again:
"Nothing is wanting to those who fear Him."
Let her know, then,
that she who has undertaken the government of souls
must prepare herself to render an account of them.
Whatever number of sisters she knows she has under her care,
she may be sure beyond doubt that on Judgment Day
she will have to give the Lord an account of all these souls,
as well as of her own soul.
Thus the constant apprehension
about her coming examination as shepherd (Ezech. 34)
concerning the sheep entrusted to her,
and her anxiety over the account that must be given for others,
make her careful of her own record.
And while by her admonitions she is helping others to amend,
she herself is cleansed of her faults.
REFLECTION
There are two beautiful lessons for us non-abbatial types in this
chapter. The first is a Benedictine view of material goods and the
second consoles us that teaching will hopefully also teach the
teacher!
The Benedictine view of property is neither complete nor correct
without the principle invoked here. Yes, later on we hear that all
the goods of the monastery must be regarded as if they were sacred
vessels of the altar (and that includes our planet, folks!) We also
hear a lot of attentive prescriptions about poverty and ownership.
Either of these made dogma without the third principle will spell
trouble. That third principle, enunciated here, is "people first,
things later; don't sweat the small stuff and things are ALWAYS small
stuff by comparison to souls."
This adds a perfect balance to Benedictine theology of creation. Ours
is the organic permaculture of souls and bodies and the planet which
nourishes both. I would be the first to sadly admit that, both
corporately and individually, we have a LONG way to go before
realizing this perfect theology, even partially.
Nevertheless, it is there and it is our ideal. The Reign of God is of
necessity our only imperative for preserving all we can. We do so
because all things were created to further and serve that Divine
purpose: the salvation of all, willed by God and the towering human
dignity of each which is won by the creative act of God and the
saving act of Jesus' death for all.
Ecology stripped of true Christian personalism is as hopelessly
pathetic as a rampant materialism that sees every created thing only
in terms of exploitation for profit. It often piques me to see news
stories of people rushing to the beach in crowds to save beached
whales, when many of those so touched seem not to care at all
about the homeless who die on our streets every day. I'm no enemy of
whales, but caring for humans must come first. It is not an either/or
question, it must be the Zen mind of both.
One is not complete without the other. Loving life and living things
really is a seamless garment. Nothing less than the whole will do! We
care for and nurture things because they care for and nurture an intricate
web of which we are the prominent part. Caring for human life and
trashing the environment is a mistaken joke. But so is caring for the
environment while figuring human beings are pretty much on their own!
We must never support the lie that humanity is free to waste and
plunder, but we must never forget, either, that humanity, warts and
all, is undeniably the crown and apex and zenith of the Reign of God.
The feeling, loving heart of a right-minded ecology can only be found
in a right-minded love of humanity. Every divorce of these two is
perilous.
A good Benedictine will go to careful lengths to avoid damaging or
breaking things, but will treat it lightly if someone else
does by accident: "Oh, that's no big deal. I'll tend to it later."
or "This I can replace, YOU I cannot. Don`t worry about it." See what
I mean? We must be personally very careful of things, but we must
never make others feel small, and least of all in the name of
temporal goods.
The other gem buried here is learning from teaching. Anyone who has
ever taught 5th grade science will tell you that it will teach you
more than the average person at a party knows about the topic.
(Unless the party is given at Massachusetts Institute of Technology!)
It will remind you of a great deal of basic information that you have
long forgotten. Teaching, ideally, keeps one up to date on a subject.
If teaching alone doesn't do that, the questions of the students
usually will!
Teaching, however, is nothing more than a lofty form of doing right.
Doing right by the created world around us will teach us in ways we
never dreamed possible. Hopefully, it will be the same with any of us
who are helping others on the road to spiritual growth. We will learn
by teaching, by doing, by helping. Hopefully, we will also be taught-
and maybe sometimes shamed- by our own words and deeds!
Love and prayers,
Jerome, OSB
jeromeleo@stmarysmonastery.org
http://www.stmarysmonastery.
Petersham, MA
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Encourage One Another
Dear Abbey Members and Friends:
Following is a reflection by Fr. Don Talafous of St John’s Abbey from a couple of weeks ago.
“Conceivably there are some exceptional individuals, perhaps only inexperienced and too protected, who feel that encouragement is unnecessary. But most of us need it daily. And, fortunately, we often get it from husband or wife, family, friends. That can all change, of course, with the loss of one of these stalwart supports in our life. "Encourage one another while it is still 'today'," Hebrews says (3:12-13). It's unlikely that anyone of us will ever feel that we've had too much encouragement. (It's close to love and compliments; do we ever get enough?) God encourages us through the example of others, through their words, gestures, calls, visits, letters, their taking the time to gauge our feelings. And, more wordlessly, through their example of love, faith, confidence, even joy. Keeping a high and even cheerful confidence in the Lord is helped by like-minded friends, fellow parishioners, associates. God knows there are enough sad people in our world who do not have this confidence. Showing this confidence and joy ourselves is a gift we can give the world.”
For me there has been a lot of sadness in my life lately – death of a good friend, illness of others, loss of employment, unrest and conflict in our families, uncertainty in the world around us. So, the meditation is a reminder of the blessings around me. Our Abbey Community does have people who encourage one another, pray for one another, and try to lessen the burdens of those in distress...and I have been a recipient of that encouragement.
The challenge for me this day is remember that there is a God who loves me intensely and there are people in our Community who reflect that love on me. With that knowledge, I can take on a more optimistic and joyful view of the world. With God’s help and the Community’s support, I can be one of those who encourages and is there to support others in their journey. The wonder of our God is that God loves each of us as a first born. We are all called to reflect that love in our dealings with others. Can we answer that call to be beacons of encouragement in our world?
Shalom and many blessings, George
Following is a reflection by Fr. Don Talafous of St John’s Abbey from a couple of weeks ago.
“Conceivably there are some exceptional individuals, perhaps only inexperienced and too protected, who feel that encouragement is unnecessary. But most of us need it daily. And, fortunately, we often get it from husband or wife, family, friends. That can all change, of course, with the loss of one of these stalwart supports in our life. "Encourage one another while it is still 'today'," Hebrews says (3:12-13). It's unlikely that anyone of us will ever feel that we've had too much encouragement. (It's close to love and compliments; do we ever get enough?) God encourages us through the example of others, through their words, gestures, calls, visits, letters, their taking the time to gauge our feelings. And, more wordlessly, through their example of love, faith, confidence, even joy. Keeping a high and even cheerful confidence in the Lord is helped by like-minded friends, fellow parishioners, associates. God knows there are enough sad people in our world who do not have this confidence. Showing this confidence and joy ourselves is a gift we can give the world.”
For me there has been a lot of sadness in my life lately – death of a good friend, illness of others, loss of employment, unrest and conflict in our families, uncertainty in the world around us. So, the meditation is a reminder of the blessings around me. Our Abbey Community does have people who encourage one another, pray for one another, and try to lessen the burdens of those in distress...and I have been a recipient of that encouragement.
The challenge for me this day is remember that there is a God who loves me intensely and there are people in our Community who reflect that love on me. With that knowledge, I can take on a more optimistic and joyful view of the world. With God’s help and the Community’s support, I can be one of those who encourages and is there to support others in their journey. The wonder of our God is that God loves each of us as a first born. We are all called to reflect that love in our dealings with others. Can we answer that call to be beacons of encouragement in our world?
Shalom and many blessings, George
Friday, September 3, 2010
The Monestary
Dear Community Members,
I apologize for my tardiness in getting out this week's reflection. But this morning I have been blessed by a reality TV Show. I know that is surprising. But yesterday I was contacted by a Priest who asked to learn more about the Urban Abbey because he would like to consider offering such a group to his community in Indiana. In our e-mail exchange he recommended viewing the show, entitled "The Monastery". BBC asked 6 men to live in a Benedictine Monastery for 40 days and 40 nights. I thought I would quickly sample a couple of episodes this morning and move on with my day. But instead, I have watched the first five episodes and have been incredibly blessed, challenged, and inspired by what I have seen. I think each of these episodes have lessons for each one of us. It offers the teaching of Benedict in a medium we can, fortunately or unfortunately relate to, TV. I cannot wait until I have time again to savor these shows. Please take a moment to follow this link to begin your own journey along with these men-- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uX4HXQDFcE.
Blessings on your journey,
Angela
(posted for Angela by George)
I apologize for my tardiness in getting out this week's reflection. But this morning I have been blessed by a reality TV Show. I know that is surprising. But yesterday I was contacted by a Priest who asked to learn more about the Urban Abbey because he would like to consider offering such a group to his community in Indiana. In our e-mail exchange he recommended viewing the show, entitled "The Monastery". BBC asked 6 men to live in a Benedictine Monastery for 40 days and 40 nights. I thought I would quickly sample a couple of episodes this morning and move on with my day. But instead, I have watched the first five episodes and have been incredibly blessed, challenged, and inspired by what I have seen. I think each of these episodes have lessons for each one of us. It offers the teaching of Benedict in a medium we can, fortunately or unfortunately relate to, TV. I cannot wait until I have time again to savor these shows. Please take a moment to follow this link to begin your own journey along with these men-- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uX4HXQDFcE.
Blessings on your journey,
Angela
(posted for Angela by George)
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Journeys, Vacations and Umbrellas
From the portion of the Rule of Benedict commonly read on April 25, August 25 and December 25:
Chapter 67: On Brethren Who Are Sent on a Journey
Let the brethren who are sent on a journey commend themselves to the prayers of all the brethren and of the Abbot; and always at the last prayer of the Work of God let a commemoration be made of all absent brethren.
When brethren return from a journey, at the end of each canonical Hour of the Work of God on the day they return, let them lie prostrate on the floor of the oratory and beg the prayers of all on account of any faults that may have surprised them on the road, through the seeing or hearing of something evil, or through idle talk. And let no one presume to tell another whatever he may have seen or heard outside of the monastery, because this causes very great harm. But if anyone presumes to do so, let him undergo the punishment of the Rule. And let him be punished likewise who would presume to leave the enclosure of the monastery and go anywhere or do anything, however small, without an order from the Abbot.
Among the several nuggets presented by Brother Jerome Leo in his reflection on this portion of the Rule of Benedict, are these words:
Two things strike me:
While detailed instructions for Monastic life may be far removed from our everyday life, perhaps the real gem of this is how our Lord God provides an umbrella for us to sit under during our lives, both during the storms and troubles we each find, and during the bright sunshine of the wonderful parts of our lives.
May we all remember this during our work, our play, our vacations and our vocations...
God be with you,
Seton
(If you are interested in receiving a portion of the Rule of Benedict, with prayer requests and Brother Jerome's reflection, please visit http://www.stmarysmonastery.org/holy_rule_reflections.html for more information.)
Chapter 67: On Brethren Who Are Sent on a Journey
Let the brethren who are sent on a journey commend themselves to the prayers of all the brethren and of the Abbot; and always at the last prayer of the Work of God let a commemoration be made of all absent brethren.
When brethren return from a journey, at the end of each canonical Hour of the Work of God on the day they return, let them lie prostrate on the floor of the oratory and beg the prayers of all on account of any faults that may have surprised them on the road, through the seeing or hearing of something evil, or through idle talk. And let no one presume to tell another whatever he may have seen or heard outside of the monastery, because this causes very great harm. But if anyone presumes to do so, let him undergo the punishment of the Rule. And let him be punished likewise who would presume to leave the enclosure of the monastery and go anywhere or do anything, however small, without an order from the Abbot.
Among the several nuggets presented by Brother Jerome Leo in his reflection on this portion of the Rule of Benedict, are these words:
"Rare is the person who can manage to stay employed without at least a slightly different persona at work... Secular society has enlarged upon this tendency to its own ends. Because the tendency is so deeply rooted in us, we may fail to see its dangers when carried to extremes. Thanks to a society often glaringly unassisted by revelation, we have the unhappy concept of different umbrellas, different sets of ethics to cover different areas of life...
"The message of the Holy Rule and of the Gospel is that there is one umbrella, period... One heart, one umbrella, one Lord, one faith, one baptism."
Two things strike me:
- This is a significant portion of our Baptismal service and commitment: "One Lord, One Faith, One Baptism", and
- How tempting it is for me to try and create new boxes when confronted with new situations and experiences
While detailed instructions for Monastic life may be far removed from our everyday life, perhaps the real gem of this is how our Lord God provides an umbrella for us to sit under during our lives, both during the storms and troubles we each find, and during the bright sunshine of the wonderful parts of our lives.
May we all remember this during our work, our play, our vacations and our vocations...
God be with you,
Seton
(If you are interested in receiving a portion of the Rule of Benedict, with prayer requests and Brother Jerome's reflection, please visit http://www.stmarysmonastery.org/holy_rule_reflections.html for more information.)
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Listening Generously
Dear Urban Abbey Members & Friends:
Yesterday, I listened to a Speaking of Faith podcast on “Listening Generously” with Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen. She spoke from her work as a patient (Chrome’s disease) and in treating cancer patients. Her main thesis was on the difference between curing and healing in the medical profession. Curing is working on the physical malady that is besetting a person and getting rid of it. Healing is much more holistic and involves treating the physical illness but also being present to help a person with the spiritual/emotional dimension of an illness.
Listening generously, paying attention to the entire person –physical, emotional, and spiritual -- enables the medical practitioner not only to give a more complete treatment to the person, but also can provide healing to the practitioner. The medical practitioner often feels loss as well as the patients the doctor treats. The doctors treat people who in a number of cases can’t be cured; they feel a loss in not being able to help all their patients. The patient certainly feels a loss in terms of their illness and how that constrains their life. Listening Generously allows the doctor to hear the patient’s “story” – their fears, concerns, worry. It allows the patient not only to tell their story, but, in telling their story, to give the doctor a way to truly help and be validated.
I believe Listening Generously is one of our callings as Abbey members. As a way to understand Listening Generously, Dr. Remen asks her medical students to describe a situation where they experienced a loss. Once they have had a chance to recapture that experience, she asks them to think of who it was that helped them and how that person helped them, and what people did that wasn’t helpful.
Here is my "story". I just lost my job due to company downsizing. That is not only a terrific shock to one’s ego, but also calls into question one’s self-worth and ability. One of the people who helped me the most was a colleague who came into my office and told me how sorry he was that I was being let go…and there was powerful emotion in his voice. A few days later, he and his wife took Penny and me out for dinner just to be with us and let us know we mattered. His quiet presence, not trying to offer solutions or platitudes but just listening to my “story”, was so comforting and healing that I find it hard to put into words.
That example of Listening Generously, I believe is what we are called to do both in our Community and in the larger community. I certainly feel a ‘calling’ now to Listen Generously to others. So, I invite you this day or this week to work with Dr. Remen’s two questions: recount a time where you experienced a loss; then, think of what people did that helped you and what they did that was not helpful. I believe this exercise will allow us to understand how to Listen Generously.
I invite you to participate in a discussion of Listening Generously. Please use our Abbey blog site to give the Community your thoughts and reactions so we can all be enriched.
Shalom and blessings, George
Yesterday, I listened to a Speaking of Faith podcast on “Listening Generously” with Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen. She spoke from her work as a patient (Chrome’s disease) and in treating cancer patients. Her main thesis was on the difference between curing and healing in the medical profession. Curing is working on the physical malady that is besetting a person and getting rid of it. Healing is much more holistic and involves treating the physical illness but also being present to help a person with the spiritual/emotional dimension of an illness.
Listening generously, paying attention to the entire person –physical, emotional, and spiritual -- enables the medical practitioner not only to give a more complete treatment to the person, but also can provide healing to the practitioner. The medical practitioner often feels loss as well as the patients the doctor treats. The doctors treat people who in a number of cases can’t be cured; they feel a loss in not being able to help all their patients. The patient certainly feels a loss in terms of their illness and how that constrains their life. Listening Generously allows the doctor to hear the patient’s “story” – their fears, concerns, worry. It allows the patient not only to tell their story, but, in telling their story, to give the doctor a way to truly help and be validated.
I believe Listening Generously is one of our callings as Abbey members. As a way to understand Listening Generously, Dr. Remen asks her medical students to describe a situation where they experienced a loss. Once they have had a chance to recapture that experience, she asks them to think of who it was that helped them and how that person helped them, and what people did that wasn’t helpful.
Here is my "story". I just lost my job due to company downsizing. That is not only a terrific shock to one’s ego, but also calls into question one’s self-worth and ability. One of the people who helped me the most was a colleague who came into my office and told me how sorry he was that I was being let go…and there was powerful emotion in his voice. A few days later, he and his wife took Penny and me out for dinner just to be with us and let us know we mattered. His quiet presence, not trying to offer solutions or platitudes but just listening to my “story”, was so comforting and healing that I find it hard to put into words.
That example of Listening Generously, I believe is what we are called to do both in our Community and in the larger community. I certainly feel a ‘calling’ now to Listen Generously to others. So, I invite you this day or this week to work with Dr. Remen’s two questions: recount a time where you experienced a loss; then, think of what people did that helped you and what they did that was not helpful. I believe this exercise will allow us to understand how to Listen Generously.
I invite you to participate in a discussion of Listening Generously. Please use our Abbey blog site to give the Community your thoughts and reactions so we can all be enriched.
Shalom and blessings, George
Friday, August 13, 2010
The Good Spirit
Dear Urban Abbey,
At Denise's funeral one the passages that was read during the service was from the Rule of St. Benedict, Chapter 72. For me it help me to understand what motivated Denise's loving presence on this earth and I felt like it was a good summary of what we should all strive for. The beautiful part is the initial point in the passage is that you do not have to do it alone! "The Good Spirit" is here to help us be the most loving community we can be.
"CHAPTER 72: The good spirit which should inspire monastic life
It is easy to recognize the bitter spirit of wickedness which creates a barrier to God's grace and opens the way to the evil of hell. But equally there is a good spirit which frees us from evil ways and brings us closer to God and eternal life. It is this latter spirit that all who follow the monastic way of life should strive to cultivate, spurred on by fervent love. By following this path they try to be first to show respect to one another with the greatest patience in tolerating weaknesses of body or character. They should even be ready to outdo each other in mutual obedience so that no one in the monastery aims at personal advantage but is rather concerned for the good of others. Thus the pure love of one another as of one family should be their ideal. As for God they should have a profound and loving reverence for him. They should love their abbot or abbess with sincere and unassuming affection. They should value nothing whatever above Christ himself and may he bring us all together to eternal life."
I know from Denise's model what it looks like to show respect to one another with the greatest patience in tolerating weaknesses of body or character. Certainly the Sisters at Bristow have lived out this rule completely as they offer their forgiveness, prayers and love to the young man who took so much from them. What would it look like or feel like in the Urban Abbey if we strove for this ideal? Are we inspired by the Good Spirit? Do we love each other with pure love as one family? I would love to hear your reflective and prayerful responses.
In pure love, Angela
[Posted by George for Angela]
At Denise's funeral one the passages that was read during the service was from the Rule of St. Benedict, Chapter 72. For me it help me to understand what motivated Denise's loving presence on this earth and I felt like it was a good summary of what we should all strive for. The beautiful part is the initial point in the passage is that you do not have to do it alone! "The Good Spirit" is here to help us be the most loving community we can be.
"CHAPTER 72: The good spirit which should inspire monastic life
It is easy to recognize the bitter spirit of wickedness which creates a barrier to God's grace and opens the way to the evil of hell. But equally there is a good spirit which frees us from evil ways and brings us closer to God and eternal life. It is this latter spirit that all who follow the monastic way of life should strive to cultivate, spurred on by fervent love. By following this path they try to be first to show respect to one another with the greatest patience in tolerating weaknesses of body or character. They should even be ready to outdo each other in mutual obedience so that no one in the monastery aims at personal advantage but is rather concerned for the good of others. Thus the pure love of one another as of one family should be their ideal. As for God they should have a profound and loving reverence for him. They should love their abbot or abbess with sincere and unassuming affection. They should value nothing whatever above Christ himself and may he bring us all together to eternal life."
I know from Denise's model what it looks like to show respect to one another with the greatest patience in tolerating weaknesses of body or character. Certainly the Sisters at Bristow have lived out this rule completely as they offer their forgiveness, prayers and love to the young man who took so much from them. What would it look like or feel like in the Urban Abbey if we strove for this ideal? Are we inspired by the Good Spirit? Do we love each other with pure love as one family? I would love to hear your reflective and prayerful responses.
In pure love, Angela
[Posted by George for Angela]
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